The Single One
It’s a new year. Time to reflect on the X boyfriend. Can an X boyfriend actually become a friend? What are the chances of a romantically involved relationship evolving into a friendship? I think that a mutual departure rarely exists. Isn’t one party more upset than the other? Doesn’t one person remain hopeful to re-capture the romance? If all our X’s became friends our friendship circle would be too large anyways. It’s hard to let go – so believing a friendship exists ostensibly makes it easier. The reality… X = O.
The Married One
There are two kinds of husbands: one that demands constant attention and the ones that make you feel guilty by not. This happens especially when they are sick in bed.Why can’t they be more like us… pathetic and needy! We want magazines, the latest movie of the week and ice cream (the fattening kind!) Sadly, we will not want sex! Hard to feel sexy with a runny nose! If there is no other reason to be married (or w/a significant other) it’s having someone cater & fuss over you. Soon everything will be coming up “roses” and you can “play” doctor & patient!
The Married One
What is most challenging in a marriage? Finding lipstick on his collar? Checking his email (by mistake, of course!) or does he avoid getting too close (could it be the perfume that is not yours?) None of the above. The one thing that can steer a marriage into divorce court… remodeling a house. If you can live through dust, contractor bills, different opinions (who knew he would love green walls?) while sharing a bathroom, you can live through anything! You just need patience and a lot of vodka!
The Single One
Where can you go in red satin heels? Salsa dancing. It’s Sunday, you’re stressed & bored. So you can dance the night away in a salsa club. It’s still not that easy to enter a club alone & wait to be asked to dance (makes you feel like you’re 13 again.) In the serious salsa club how you look is secondary to your dance skills. (I always thought what you wore could surpass anything.) But what is better than all the Latin guys giving you compliments in Spanish? I think that’s what they’re saying. (I only speak French.)
The Single One
Dating – Need a tetanus shot? Used to be you could just style your hair, spray tan, wax and shop for a great outfit. Does dating now require more? A tetnus shot! I was recently asked if I’d had a tetanus shot… Was he planning to bite me or move the date to a swampy lagoon… Just when you thought you could date prep at the spa you now have to review your medical card. Who would have thought you need to be current on your shots in the single world.
The Married One
How can men’s and women’s views be so different? Are women supernatural? Do we have a crystal ball? Are we clairvoyant? Women see 17 steps beyond, men wait until it hits them in the face. I call it women’s intuition. We get bad feelings from meeting someone and just know when someone is lying. Male brains have grey matter, women have more white! Our brains work faster. Something to do with neurons! Bottom line – just listen to us! We have the answers.